baltimore

frozen mattress grief
stood staring you right in the eyes
through the gray window
buried in the yard beneath
all those playgrounds and
you're right on top of the sky
lounging on clouds,
betting your heart for airplanes
when the smoke coils up
from your sharpened face

we stood under a willow tree
in the coughing heat of summer
i pulled a paper cigarette from
my pocket and i thought i'd talk
to god peering through the roots in the sky.
let's just talk to god maybe hoping
hesheit will listen though i don't
really expect replies to come
rumbling through the air like
sonic boom pacing faster
than  sound, cushioning
our eardrums with pretty silence
till everything just blows up in our faces.

camping out in grimy alleys behind your
apartment building cause
damn(,) daddy was home
and you were afraid of his eyes
and the stale breath
and the scowl carving itself
right on his forehead
just telling you you're not enough.

daddy daddy daddy

you asked to run away with me.

the sky wore a blackened face
blushing with reds, only reds,
stalking up and i'm thinking
maybe it was embarrassed to see
two tiny little nothings clinging to
each other in the streets, fumbling,
freezing, falling, me & you, you & me
the corners of your mouth
turning ever-so-down makin' me think
something was going straight through
your mind and swimming there,
something about now and your daddy
and me
hoping maybe we were both dead
so you could be free again

well darling you could free
yourself from me anytime you
like, i'm all right all alone,
but he's another story i swear
he'll rip you to little skinny
pieces loved to the floor
loved, you know?
loved.
woven with perfect care
with a kiss in your eyes .

yeah.

i'm too far from home and
you're too much for these
hands to hold
so even though it's tough
for you i think i've gotta
let you go




_(goodnight.)