Journals60
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old times
1 min read
well, i'm here still. is anyone else?
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a row of teeth
1 min read
hi
i am lost but it's okay
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don't read this
2 min read
sometimes i'm losing everything. like my youth and childhood, blinking goodbye with each passing second because soon i'll be seventeen and that's older than i ever imagined myself somehow. i want to stay sixteen where things are safe and i am safe and i can experience everything you're supposed to at sixteen, because sixteen is how old everyone is in stories. i feel like i'm drifting through obligations and work like a zombie and i don't feel much except the people always dropping away from me; i have hardly anyone that i really talk to regularly and i guess it's my own fault for being such a fucking idiot. i feel like most everyone at my increasing age, i guess-- an unloved and gross piece of shit, undeserving of most everything i've been fortunate enough to have. and the pressure. the future bites hard.
sometimes i am fine, sunny and excited about everything and the way some people still like me after all this time. there's this gratitude i don't know how to express. there's this desire to create and find myself somewhere, webbed out all kinds of places. i want to be only this person, and i want so much to know the right things to say without being the shitstain idiot human i know i am. the pitymongerer, hoping you'll comfort me in my shallow sorrows-- writing this makes me hate me more but in a dull way, a way that makes me want to just sleep.
who am i? no one cares and that's it. goodnight
sometimes i am fine, sunny and excited about everything and the way some people still like me after all this time. there's this gratitude i don't know how to express. there's this desire to create and find myself somewhere, webbed out all kinds of places. i want to be only this person, and i want so much to know the right things to say without being the shitstain idiot human i know i am. the pitymongerer, hoping you'll comfort me in my shallow sorrows-- writing this makes me hate me more but in a dull way, a way that makes me want to just sleep.
who am i? no one cares and that's it. goodnight
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but i don't know, the nights are cold
1 min read
and remember warmth
i could have sworn i wasn't alone
----
xx ♥
i could have sworn i wasn't alone
----
xx ♥
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it's gonna be alright!
1 min read
i am so happy right now. i got into the summer writing program that i was dreaming about. it's becoming reality and i'm amazed. things have suddenly become wonderful!
how are you?
how are you?
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