Shop Mobile More Submit  Join Login
have you  seen the girl with the sad, cold eyes
and down-turned mouth? she's always in a frown, a coma of malleable lips pushed like clay. perhaps they were formed by the phantoms behind her teeth, or the myths drowning in her wet mouth. they say she has evil eyes. stained ones.

i talked to her one dark morning when she sat writing letters into a wood desk. i said, "hi." and she looked at me and turned away. so did i. the next day she walked up to me out of nowhere and she said, "you're weak." and then she smiled real crooked, a poison kind of smile. she told me stories about broken love and the snakes under her skin instead of blood. she's their cocoon and they're too afraid to shed her off. a writhing, rocky heart ate away at her insides, giving the snakes something to eat, she told me. that was why she was too skinny and pale-blooded. cold-blooded. zero-blooded.

she made the most gruesome jokes, too. i couldn't tell you 'cause i forgot them all but she did. and i always wanted to run from her, to scream at her. i never did; i just listened with open ears and wide eyes like an unknowing child, who would repeat the dirty words to others. i probably did.

her jokes still come with tinny whispers somedays when it rains.



-


she told me she loved me once
that was the biggest joke of all
please listen to this, my pretty lullaby

why do sad songs always sound the sweetest

[link]
Add a Comment:
 
:iconilyilaice:
ilyilaice Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2011
This is haunting. I wonder what happened to the two characters in the story, eventually.
Reply
:iconbreathingglassstars:
breathingglassstars Featured By Owner Apr 24, 2011   Writer
ahh i think they're suspended in the land of fiction permanently. but we can pretend something happened to them (:
thank you
Reply
:iconamarettomixtape:
AmarettoMixtape Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2011   Writer
this is dark and twisted, but not like murder mystery kind, yknow? i love it so much. especially this:

her jokes still come with tinny whispers somedays when it rains.
Reply
:iconbreathingglassstars:
breathingglassstars Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2011   Writer
mm yes there are many different kinds of dark c:

thank you:heart:
Reply
:icononly-another-wraith:
Only-Another-Wraith Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2011  Student Writer
i have to say that i adore the way you string words together.
"a coma of malleable lips pushed like clay."
i wish i could come up with something like this. it makes me ache but in a good way.
*re-reads for the fourth time*
i quite like this in the way i love it and the way it sounds out loud.
brilliance.
:heart:
Reply
:iconbreathingglassstars:
breathingglassstars Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2011   Writer
awwh, this comment made my heart all happy
thankyouthankyouthankyou
ohhh, that ache. i do love that ache and i'm glad i could have, that sick sick part of me is glad i wrote something that makes you ache

:heart::heart:
Reply
:icononly-another-wraith:
Only-Another-Wraith Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2011  Student Writer
you're welcomewelcomewelcome <3
that ache is just amazing, i must say. it really is.
:heart:
Reply
:iconbreathingglassstars:
breathingglassstars Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2011   Writer
yesyes<3
Reply
:iconforevermone:
forevermone Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
This is amazing! I really loved the voice in the entire piece. The beginning really captures the reader's attention and then just pulls you in further and further into this tale of the girl with the sad, cold eyes.

The last lines are a beautiful finish. Very, very nicely done!
Reply
:iconbreathingglassstars:
breathingglassstars Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2011   Writer
oh gosh thank you so so much<3
i love how you told me exactly what you liked most
Reply
:iconforevermone:
forevermone Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem! :D
Reply
:iconcitylightning:
CityLightning Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2011   Writer
Love, I adored this. I love how, in the second paragraph, you took the side of the snakes, almost. Showing us that they were the ones who were afraid, not her. They needed protecting from everything. It's like sacrifice, it's beautiful. Your characterization was oh. Just oh.

Out of interest, is it you narrating the story, or a boy, or a girl? I'm just so curious. I love not knowing, but I can't help wanting more. xox
Reply
:iconbreathingglassstars:
breathingglassstars Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2011   Writer
thank you so much
ahh i'm glad you noticed that, i thought it was just a second of scribbling insanity<3 the snakes need their mother you see

i think i pictured it as a boy. i completely understand why you want to know because i've felt that way before too and it's a bit annoying sooo.. yes it was a boy(:
Reply
:iconcitylightning:
CityLightning Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2011   Writer
No, it was a clever thing to put in. <3 Every snake loves its mother!

It takes a whole new dimension as a boy. Very interesting! Thank you. I loved it. xox
Reply
:iconbreathingglassstars:
breathingglassstars Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2011   Writer
oh, yesyesyes<3

aww, i'm so glad! thank me? nonono <3 thank youuu. (:
Reply
:iconpagan-poetess:
pagan-poetess Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2011  Professional Writer
i must agree with orangecloudsraining..... more songs please!! :la:
also, you are incredibly wonderfully beautifully talented :heart:
Reply
:iconbreathingglassstars:
breathingglassstars Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2011   Writer
ahah i will give you more songs always<3
aww! thank you sososo much:hug:
Reply
:iconpagan-poetess:
pagan-poetess Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2011  Professional Writer
:la: yaay! i adore your taste in music!!
you are so so welcome :heart:
Reply
:iconbreathingglassstars:
breathingglassstars Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2011   Writer
awwh thatmakesmesohappy(:
:hug:
Reply
:iconpagan-poetess:
pagan-poetess Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2011  Professional Writer
:glomp: i'm so glad!! :heart:
Reply
:iconmesmeric-revelation:
mesmeric-revelation Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2011
i lovelovelove this.
Reply
:iconbreathingglassstars:
breathingglassstars Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2011   Writer
ohh thank you so much<3 i'm glad(:
Reply
:iconmesmeric-revelation:
mesmeric-revelation Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2011
you're welcome (:
Reply
:iconorangecloudsraining:
orangecloudsraining Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2011  Student Writer
you literally have the best taste in music okay.
Reply
:iconbreathingglassstars:
breathingglassstars Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2011   Writer
aww, thank you<3 so do you(:

(example: "WHY?" i was just listening to them earlier today and godgodgod they are so great and i wouldn't know about them if it weren't[wasn't?] for you)
Reply
:iconorangecloudsraining:
orangecloudsraining Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2011  Student Writer
(wasn't) hehehe, yes. <33
Reply
:iconbreathingglassstars:
breathingglassstars Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2011   Writer
they're so inspiring... and they seem to write about the most trivial things and make them beautiful
Reply
:iconorangecloudsraining:
orangecloudsraining Featured By Owner Jan 19, 2011  Student Writer
exactly! ugh it's gorgeous.
Reply
:iconbreathingglassstars:
breathingglassstars Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2011   Writer
veryverymuch so (:
Reply
Add a Comment:
 
×

:iconbreathingglassstars: More from breathingglassstars


Featured in Collections

written. by livesofbirds

Literature by MissSarah15


More from DeviantArt



Details

Submitted on
January 19, 2011
File Size
1.5 KB
Link
Thumb

Stats

Views
346
Favourites
20 (who?)
Comments
29
×